


Voiceless

by Veldeia



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Episode: s04e10 Midnight, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Locked In
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-25
Updated: 2009-06-25
Packaged: 2018-03-31 09:50:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3973582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veldeia/pseuds/Veldeia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What if that thing took his voice with it? What if whatever it did was permanent?" An AU that branches off from Midnight. Originally written for Round 2 of the TARDIS BigBang.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Voiceless

**1.**

_Too cold, too bright, gleaming like diamonds, like sunlight on new snow, so white I can barely see, so freezing I can barely breathe, I can hardly even think, my mouth is moving to repeat words I don't want to say, no matter how hard I struggle against it, and it's only getting worse -_

_I only see the others as shadows against the bright light, but can feel them grabbing me, carrying me towards the door, towards the outside, the night and the sun, even brighter and colder, where I'll burn, without hope of regeneration, and the only part of me that will survive won't be me at all - these humans, these unimaginably cruel humans will murder me just because I'm different and they're afraid, and I can't fight them, can't reason with them without my voice -_

_My voice is my greatest weapon, with it, I've saved worlds, I've won wars before they've even begun, I've survived impossible situations time after time, but now that creature has it and I can't say a word, and they're going to cast me out, and I can't do anything, and I'm going to -_

_Suddenly, I'm screaming on top of my lungs, which has to mean it's screaming, too, yes, I can hear it, and I can feel its pain and anger and despair -_

_"One, two, three, four, five, six."_

_Our cry is cut short, and I land on the floor._

_The source of the cold brightness is moving away from me, from the truck, the creature returning to its sapphire cave to lick its wounds, but I can tell that even though it has lost, it feels victorious._

  


* * *

  


A fierce wind tore at everyone in the vehicle, and a blinding light poured in through the open door. Mrs Silvestry and the Doctor were screaming in unison, but the hostess held her ground, counting the seconds aloud. The force field disappeared, the two women were sucked outside, and snap, the door slid shut.

It was over.

Dee Dee looked around. Mrs Cane stood near her, looking like she was about to burst into tears. Her husband and son were at the back of the room, Jethro crouched between seats, so that only the top of his black hair was visible, Mr Cane on his knees in front of the door. Next to him, Professor Hobbes was hanging his head, looking ashamed above all else. Well, he should, too, Dee Dee thought. She had known him to be narrow-minded and self-important, but never would she have expected him to be such a coward.

In front of the two men lay the Doctor, face down on the floor. Not expecting the others to come to their senses anytime soon, Dee Dee ran over to him. "Doctor, are you all right? Doctor?"

When he didn't answer, she took hold of his shoulders and wrestled him around, so that he was resting on his back. His eyes were wide open, and he was staring at some point in the distance, not focusing on her at all. His face was frozen in a look of fear or pain, his brow was furrowed, all muscles taut. She could see the tendons standing out in his thin neck.

"My God, is he dead?" Professor Hobbes muttered behind her.

She looked at the Doctor more closely, and shook her head. "No, he's still breathing." It wasn't normal breathing, though, but restless and shaky, almost panting. Maybe he was just deeply shocked by what had happened, that was all. She could only guess how horrible it must've been to have his voice stolen like that. Maybe he just needed time to recover.

"It's all right, it's gone now," she told him soothingly.

He didn't answer, didn't really seem to have heard her at all.

"What happened to him?" Mrs Cane asked.

Dee Dee looked up, and saw that the others had gathered around her and the Doctor. At least they had the decency not to go on making accusations. No one was repeating anyone anymore. Even the stupidest of them would have to realise that he was innocent.

"I don't know," she answered Mrs Cane. "Everyone else all right?"

The others nodded and mumbled affirmatives, subdued.

They sat in silence for several minutes, but the Doctor still didn't speak or move.

Finally, it was Jethro who spoke aloud Dee Dee's worst fear. "What if that thing took his voice with it? What if whatever it did was permanent?"

She sat back, crossed her arms and shook her head. "I hope not. If it was, I doubt there's anything anyone can do."

More time passed, and nothing happened. No one spoke - there was nothing to say. They all knew the rescue truck was on its way. They also knew they hadn't exactly been heroic, and that they were safe only because the hostess had sacrificed herself. They, the survivors, were probably the worst of the lot, the ones who least deserved to be here, and there was nothing anyone could say to change that.

Dee Dee wondered what would happen if and when they got rescued, once they got out of here and back to the Leisure Palace. Would they be able to go on with their lives, just like that, as if none of this had happened? Had any of them changed, would Mr and Mrs Cane be more understanding towards their son, would Professor Hobbes be a little more considerate towards her - and now that she thought about him, would she even want to continue working for him?

She had another month of holidays left, but she couldn't imagine staying on this planet that long. She wanted to go back home, to visit her mother in her cottage under the friendly pale sun and violet sky of Ceren III. Then, she would return to her studies, her very much theoretical and academic studies, as a perfectly unremarkable third-year student of planetary archaeology, just reading books and writing papers, without as much as dreaming about fieldwork.

She looked around. Everyone else was staring at the walls, just as lost in their thoughts as she was. She noticed everyone kept stealing glances at the Doctor, whether out of genuine worry or morbid curiosity, she couldn't tell. Whenever her eyes accidentally met someone else's, they quickly averted their gaze.

Finally, after what must've been the longest twenty minutes of Dee Dee Blasco's life, a voice addressed them through the loudspeakers. "Crusader 50, rescue vehicle coming alongside in three minutes, door seals set to automatic. Prepare for boarding, repeat, prepare for boarding."

The rescue crew entered the Crusader dressed in spacesuit-like protective clothing. After quickly checking that there were no environmental hazards about, they opened their helmets and began ushering the survivors to the rescue vehicle.

"What's going to happen to this bus?" Jethro asked one of them.

"A recovery team will come to tow it back to base later on. Our priority is to get you to safety as fast as possible. So, if you would please be so kind as to move on, sir."

The others trudged towards the door, like four sleepwalkers. Dee Dee lingered by the Doctor's side.

"He's... injured," she told the rescuers.

"What kind of injuries? Can he be moved?"

Could he? He wasn't actually hurt, as far as she knew, but what did she know, really? She was no doctor. "I'm not sure," she said.

One of the rescuers ran a scanner over the Doctor and whistled. "Well, well! He's not human. Never would've guessed, he really looks like one. No physical trauma, as far as I can tell. Let's go."

The rescuers lifted the Doctor by his arms and legs, and carried him over to their vehicle. Dee Dee followed them. She was the last to step out of the truck.

Where the Crusader vehicles looked a lot like small surface-to-orbit shuttles inside, the rescue truck reminded Dee Dee of a military craft. It was much more crammed, and had no windows at all, not even shielded ones. There were long benches lined up against the dark grey walls, and a pair of bunks at one end of the room. That was where they placed the Doctor. She sat down at the end of the bench nearest to him.

Someone cleared their throat loudly, and Dee Dee turned to look. A blond man, dressed in white coveralls, like all the rescuers, was standing in front of the door to the cockpit, trying to catch their attention. "Ladies and gentlemen, and those who don't wish to be categorised, I'm Jeff, the second in command of this rescue team. Welcome aboard the RV Mercy II. The emergency exit is at the back, right next to the lavatory. I'm afraid we don't have any entertainment here, and the ride is going to be less smooth than what the Crusaders offer, but at least we're fast. The return trip will take us just under two hours. Until we get to the Palace, if there's anything we can do for you, just ask."

The doors were sealed, and the truck began to move. Like Jeff had said, it definitely felt different from the Crusaders, much bumpier and noisier. Since it meant they were moving faster, Dee Dee didn't mind it at all.

Soon after they had taken off, the woman Dee Dee had labelled as a paramedic approached her. "Sorry to bother you, Miss, but are you with him?" she asked, nodding towards the now curtained bed where the Doctor lay.

"Oh, no, nothing of the sort. I only just met him." She wasn't entirely surprised by the question, though. She had to admit she was acting rather protectively about him. Guilt, mostly, she told herself. Of course, he had also been nice to her, and he was clever, and funny - not to mention much older than she was. Nothing new there. She always did fall for the impossible ones.

"Too bad," the medic said. "I was hoping you could tell me what he is. I don't recognise his species, and that complicates things. I mean, for all I know, this could be a perfectly normal reaction for him."

Dee Dee frowned. She hadn't even thought about that. Of course, he hadn't explicitly told them that he wasn't a human, even though he had sort-of given that impression.

"Do you know if he's travelling alone? Any friends or family we could contact?" the medic asked.

"He did mention someone, a friend called Donna. She's at the Palace, I think."

"Good. We'll contact her, then, once we get there. In the meantime, could you describe what exactly caused him to end up in this state?"

Dee Dee sighed. "It's strange and complicated, like the whole story of what happened on the Crusader 50. He was... He was taken over by an alien entity, or something like that. It - it stole his voice." She shook her head once again. "That doesn't make much sense, does it?"

The paramedic gave her a somewhat patronising smile that was enough of an answer.

"Is he going to be all right?" Dee Dee asked.

"I can't tell, really. I've got extensive first aid training, but this isn't anything that's was covered there. Still, at least he's physically all right, " she said, in a bland attempt to cheer Dee Dee up.

After asking for a few more details about him, which Dee Dee couldn't really answer - his name, for example - the paramedic returned to her patient, and Dee Dee was stuck staring at walls again. Opposite her, the Canes looked more like a peaceful, happy family than they ever had during the trip, huddled close to each other. Professor Hobbes sat next to Dee Dee, his eyes closed and the back of his head resting against the wall.

If Dee Dee had found those twenty minutes on the Crusader 50 long, these two hours lasted forever. She tried not to think about the deadly brightness outside, just behind the all too thin wall, right behind her back - the starlight, the emptiness, the Midnight sky.

She swore to herself that she would never, ever come out here again out of her own free will.

  
  


**2.**

_Even though my mind's all jumbled, my sense of time is as clear and accurate as ever, and it's not a blessing, it's a curse, since it means I can't help but keep count of every fraction of a second that passes as we wait for the rescue vehicle, and then all through the journey back -_

_The cold and the brightness are fading as we put more distance between it and ourselves, more empty whiteness, but my voice is left behind, too, slipping further from me, now a part of something else - I can't even feel it anymore, I can't reach it, can't get it back -_

_We're still moving, farther and farther, and there's still nothing I can do -_

_By the time we reach the Palace, the freezing whiteness has turned into a tepid twilight, and even though I didn't meet my death under the Midnight sun, I'm still trapped with no way out, silenced like never before -_

_In the name of a thousand gods from a hundred different worlds, I'm afraid._

_What's going to happen to me now?_

  


* * *

  


Donna was having the time of her life, basking in the warm white glow of the filtered extonic sunlight, swirling her pearly white drink with the pink straw. Better than a piña colada at some cheap hotel at the Canary Islands, that was for sure!

If only they could go on trips like this more often. She knew the Doctor thrived on excitement and danger, but it was wonderful to be able to relax for a change, after everything they'd been through. She could imagine she might grow tired of this, sooner or later, but definitely not yet, oh no. At the moment, she was enjoying herself thoroughly. Hopefully, the Doctor was having fun on his school trip, and wasn't bored out of his wits yet. It would be really bad for everyone stuck in a closed space with him if he was.

"Ahem. Excuse me, ma'am," the butler's polite voice interrupted her rest and relaxation.

"What is it, now? Can't a lady enjoy her drink in peace around here?"

"There's a call for you. Rest assured, if they hadn't insisted that it's most urgent, I would never have bothered you, ma'am."

"Oh, fine," she said, and sat up straight, reaching for the phone. Urgent? What could it possibly be? The Doctor wasn't supposed to be back in another four hours, and there was no one else in the whole Pleasure Palace who knew her at all. "Yes?"

"Good day, ma'am - is this Donna I'm talking to?" a slightly nervous-sounding tenor answered her.

"Yes, I'm Donna Noble. And you are?"

"Jules Bordon, the resident medical doctor. Listen, this is really important. Are you a friend of the being known as the Doctor?"

"Yes, I am," she answered slowly, a thousand scenarios running through her head already, from the amusing to the annoying to the atrocious. What had he got himself into this time? "What could possibly go wrong?" the Doctor had said. If that wasn't asking for trouble, nothing was.

"I'm afraid there's been an accident - you'd better come over here. The clinic, I mean. It's in the office wing. Easy to find, there's plenty of signs."

"All right," she said, hung up, gave the phone to the butler and cast a wistful look at the soft sunlight reflected from the surface of the pool. So much for enjoying herself. Trust the Doctor to put a stop to that. She headed to her room to change - not into the nice clothes she had put aside for dinner, just casual ones - and then to the lobby, to look for those signs.

The resident medic hadn't been exaggerating: she could easily spot the word "Doctor's Office" in big red letters. A series of such signs took her to a part of the Pleasure Palace she hadn't visited before, a dull area with long corridors and frosted glass doors with things like Director or Head of this and that written on them. Finally, she found the door which read Clinic. It led to a waiting room just like anywhere on Earth, complete with uncomfortable-looking plastic chairs and a collection of most likely age-old magazines. There was only one other door in the room aside from the one through which she'd entered it. She pressed the doorbell.

A man who could be no older than twenty-five opened the door. She instantly labelled him as French, even though they were thousands and thousands of years and light years away from France. She couldn't help it, his curly dark hair, almost black eyes and tanned skin just made her picture him in some tiny café in Paris, wearing a beret, writing poems and discussing philosophy. Exactly the type some women seemed to be head over heels for, while she couldn't have cared less.

"Sorry, I don't have time for consultations right now," he said bluntly. It was the same edgy voice she'd heard on the phone, and there was absolutely nothing French about it. Of course, since the TARDIS was supposed to be translating everything she heard, he could've been speaking French, and she would never even notice it.

"Assuming you're Doctor Bordon, it was you who asked to see me, not the other way around," Donna said. "Donna Noble, friend of the Doctor, remember?"

"Ah, of course, of course, I'm sorry," he said, sizing her up not at all discreetly. "Are you human?"

"Are you really a doctor?"

"He looks human too, but he isn't, so I thought I'd ask. No need to get snippy about it. So, are you?"

"Of course I am, and I wasn't being snippy, you really look far too young to be credible."

"I'm twenty-eight, which is more than old enough. Yes, this is my first time practising on my own, but I'm perfectly qualified. I can show you my diploma, if you want to," he said in a tone that Donna could only call suggestive, giving the impression that even though he seemed nervous at the moment, normally he would be all confidence and charm.

"Actually, no. What I want you to do is tell me why I'm here instead of lying in a beach chair, working on my tan, which is what I'd really like to be doing right now."

The young man's expression went from an assertive smile to a glum frown. "Yes, my apologies for that, but I really need to get some idea about his species and his medical history, since he's not capable of giving any information himself, and you were the only contact he named before the incident -"

"Oi, wait! Start at the beginning. Is he injured, or what? What's wrong with him?"

"I was hoping you could tell me," Bordon said meekly. "Come on, you better see for yourself."

He opened the door wide, and showed her in. The room wasn't that different from a doctor's office on Earth, only slightly bigger and with more computer screens. There was one on the desk, next to some devices about the size of a mobile phone, which Donna took for medical scanners or some such, and several more screens were set in one of the walls, over what looked like a cross between an examination table and a bed. The Doctor was lying on it, in his shirtsleeves, perfectly still, staring at the ceiling, with a horrified look on his face. She might've taken him for dead if it wasn't for the easily noticeable, rapid rise and fall of his chest.

"Doctor?" she said softly. "Doctor, it's me, Donna."

He didn't as much as blink.

She cupped his face, turning it towards her, looking into his eyes, and raised her voice. "Come on, Doctor. It's all right. I'm right here. Look at me."

He just stared ahead blankly.

"I take it you've never seen him like this before, then," Bordon muttered.

Donna rested her hand on the Doctor's shoulder, and could feel him trembling ever so slightly. She shook her head. "Is he even conscious?" she asked in a low voice.

"The scans show plenty of brain activity, but since I don't know what's normal, I can't tell if that's conscious thinking or dreaming or his species' equivalent to a coma." Bordon sighed. "I was hoping for an easy explanation. There are many species that do things like this, after all. Tonic immobility, thanatosis - playing possum, in layman's terms. Feigning death when faced with a threatening situation. What is he, anyway? I've searched all possible databases, and there's no match."

"No wonder. He's a Time Lord, and he's the last of his kind," Donna answered, stepping away from him. "I can't say I'd know much about them, but I'm pretty sure this isn't normal. What's happened to him?"

"I haven't got all the details yet, the survivors are being debriefed as we speak. I should get more information as soon as they're done. From what I've heard so far, an alien entity of some kind attacked the Crusader 50. They say it stole his voice, whatever that means."

"Well, obviously, he's not speaking, is he?"

"No, he's not, but, um, 'having your voice stolen' isn't exactly a proper medical diagnosis. His voice - what's that even supposed to mean? As far as I can see, his vocal chords are unharmed, as is his brain. There's no medical reason why he couldn't speak. I really have no idea what's wrong with him. Every scan I've run says that he's physically unharmed. Without the rather unusual circumstances, I'd readily call this a catatonic state, and consider it a psychological problem."

Donna frowned. "I really don't think it's psychological. Isn't there anything you can do?"

"Normally, the first thing I'd do would be to give him sedatives and see if that changes anything, but since I don't know his species..."

"I'm not sure you should give him anything, but really, I don't know. He hasn't told me that much about himself or his people. Loves to be all mysterious and alien."

Bordon crossed his arms, looking unhappy. "I guess you're not going to be of much help, then."

"Like you're doing any better yourself," Donna said, found herself a chair and sat down next to the Doctor. "Maybe he'll come out of it on his own."

"Yes, well, whatever the case, waiting seems to be about the only thing we can do. What worries me most at the moment is that he's not just unresponsive, his body is stuck in a over-stressed state."

"Oh, he's always hyperactive."

"I'd say this goes beyond hyperactive, frantic would be closer to what I'm seeing, and this is something I'm fairly certain about. After all, his physiology isn't entirely different from ours - I can easily recognise all the major organs. If this doesn't change, he's not going to stay physically fine for long. He's going to get exhausted simply lying there and doing nothing. "

"It might not be a problem. He can survive things humans can't," she said, failing to convince even herself.

"Hmm, like what? Can you give any examples?" he asked, but before she had time to answer, his mobile rang. "Ah, excuse me." He answered it, and spent the short conversation mostly saying "Yes" and "All right."

"That was one of the crisis workers," he explained once he was done with the call. "They asked if I could come over. Of course, I should've been there from the beginning, but since none of the others were in need of immediate medical attention, I thought I'd better see to him. Now that you're here and there's been no change in his condition ever since they brought him in..."

"Sure, go on, it's not like you're doing anything useful here anyway."

"Just give me a call if anything happens, anything at all," Bordon went on, completely ignoring Donna's comment. "My number is on my card, which you can find on the desk. I'll be back within a few hours. Hopefully, I'll know more by then."

He left her alone with the Doctor, except it was more being all alone. She had rarely felt this lonely during her travels with him - stuck in an alien world who knew how far from home, without any local people she knew, no one but him who understood where she came from, and now he wasn't really with her. If only he could tell her what to do - oh, but that gave her an idea! Maybe he could.

She remembered that telepathy thing she had seen him do a few times. She placed her hands on his temples, like he had done, and concentrated, tried to open her mind, to invite him into hers. Of course, she had no idea what she was doing, but if he was conscious and aware, she was sure he would figure it out and do his thing.

Nothing happened. Maybe it wouldn't work this way around. She grabbed his wrists instead, and lifted his hands to the sides of her face. She would've thought his limbs would be all limp and floppy, but instead, his hands actually stayed right where she had placed them. Again, she made an effort to clear her head of any thoughts and to listen to any soft whisper of his mind, but still, there was nothing at all.

She stayed there until it started feeling silly, just sitting in silence with her head between his palms, waiting for something to happen. She withdrew her head, and his hands remained where she'd put them, grasping at thin air now, like those of some wax figure. She pushed them down to rest by his sides again. It might've been funny, if the situation hadn't been so dismal.

She ran her hand through his hair, and was instantly struck by a pang of regret. Oh, she shouldn't have done that. Had she done it in any other circumstances, he would have complained loudly, she was sure about it. Now, he didn't as much as flinch. It wasn't right.

"Come on, spaceman. You need to help me out here. I really don't know what to do," she whispered.

  
  


**3.**

_That voice - Donna! Great, yes, Donna is here, she will figure this out -_

_If only I could see her - ah, there she is, turning my face to look into my eyes, and for a passing moment, I can see into hers - but now she's out of sight again -_

_If only I could let her know I'm still here, wave a hand, make a sound, but no matter how hard I try, I can't as much as open my mouth - at least I closed it when I stopped screaming, it would've been embarrassing to be stuck with my mouth open - not to mention how lucky I am that I didn't close my eyes, because then I wouldn't even be able to see a thing - I can't even blink now, not on my own - I'm blinking every now and then, of course, otherwise my eyes would get all dry, but it's just an involuntary reaction, just like breathing, I'm still doing it, but I can't consciously affect it -_

_Come on, Donna, think, use that intuitive human brain of yours, have a few crazy ideas that make no sense and then suddenly, half-accidentally leap to one that does -_

_She has to come up with something, she has to, I can't stay like this, don't know how long I can take it, it's not that my body is starting to ache, which it is, I'll give you that, all muscles strained and hearts and lungs working overtime, but that I can manage, no, it's my mind I'm worried about, I can barely think when I'm stuck like this, and I see no future for myself, there's nowhere for me to go from here, but this can't be how it's all going to end - the Ood said my song would end, is this it?_

_There, the young doctor's leaving - I almost feel sorry for him, facing a situation that none of his training could possibly have prepared him for - he reminds me of Martha, they are around the same age, both so anxious to prove themselves, both excellent in theory, but still learning the practice - except that Martha wouldn't stick to the numbers when they tell nothing useful, she would be able to think outside the box and solve this somehow -_

_Donna will be able to solve this, too, Donna, come on, come on, please -_

_Yes! Telepathy! Yes, yes, that's brilliant, brilliant, Donna -_

_She places my hands on the sides of her head and I can hear her clearly, I can feel her confusion and worry and she's waiting for me to say something, and I try, oh, how I try, but I can't, it's just like trying to move my lips, I'm concentrating so hard I feel like I might start bleeding out of my ears and nose - but I can't say a thing, can't give her any kind of a sign, and I know she can't even see how I'm struggling._

_That creature took all of it. All of my voice, not just my physical voice, my gestures, my expressions, but even my psychic voice, all lost out there in the shimmering white emptiness -_

_And Donna says she doesn't know what to do._

  


* * *

  


The passengers of the Crusader 50 and the crisis team were just about done going through everything that had happened, when Jules showed up. Dee Dee had been expecting him sooner, but no doubt he'd been busy taking care of the Doctor. After he had made a quick announcement that he was there for the survivors should they need anything, from sleeping pills to sick notes, the meeting was over, and they were finally free to go their ways.

Dee Dee stayed in the conference room, and went straight to Jules. Doctor Jules Bordon was a graduate of Nexthallican University, which was were Dee Dee was studying. Of course, they were in completely different fields, and had never met at the Uni, but it gave them something in common nevertheless, a rare thing in the Pleasure Palace, with its random collection of people from all around the known universe.

They had spent several afternoons in different cafés, reminiscing about their alma mater, and complaining about the here and now. She would go on about the Professor, and he would describe the latest absurdities his clinic patients had come up with. She couldn't deny she fancied him, but the two of them were just friends, and Dee Dee would never have dreamed of anything else. After all, Jules was handsome and well-to-do and smart, and half the staff had a crush on him, while Dee Dee was, well, just herself, no one interesting nor special.

"How's the Doctor?" she asked Jules.

"Which one, me or my patient?" he joked.

"He, of course. The alien."

"No change, I'm afraid, and no explanation, either."

"Can I see him?"

"That's really not up to me anymore, you'll have to ask his friend, Donna. I have to warn you, though, she's... Quite straightforward."

"I think I can manage that. I'd have wanted to talk to her anyway."

"Of course, but if you ask me, Dee, there's no need for you to hurry. You should take care of yourself, first and foremost. You've been through a lot. Eat, rest, call home, and so on."

"Oh, don't worry, Jules, I'm fine!" Dee Dee exclaimed. What she didn't say was, she felt like she desperately needed to do something, anything useful, after all the time she had already spent sitting and waiting, and that she was sure she wouldn't be able to rest before she had done all she could to help the Doctor.

So, once she left Jules's company, she ignored his advice and walked straight to the clinic. A tall woman with flaming red hair opened her the door. "Sorry, Doctor Bordon isn't here right now, you'll have to come back later," she said rather bossily.

"Yes, I know, I just saw him," Dee Dee told her. "I'm looking for the Doctor. You're Donna, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. Do I know you? Do you know him?"

"Uh, no, and sort-of. I was onboard the Crusader 50 too. I was just wondering how he's doing."

"Ah, well, come on in, then."

Dee Dee followed her into Jules's office. Just like he had said, the Doctor was exactly like when she'd last seen him. She crossed her arms and let out a deep sigh.

"Aren't you supposed to be talking to a shrink or something?" Donna asked.

"I already did that, and they let me go."

"So, no one got hurt other than him?"

"Four people died," Dee Dee said bluntly. She didn't really feel anything at the words, as if she was talking about something that had happened to someone else.

"Oh - I'm so sorry - I had no idea. The truth is, I really have no idea what happened out there, in general."

"I could tell you."

"No, it must've been horrible, I couldn't ask you to go through it again."

"No, no, it's all right," Dee Dee said, sat down in Jules's office chair, and went on to tell it all.

It really was all right, too, because she finally felt she was doing something useful. Donna was a great listener - maybe not in the most conventional sense, since she kept interrupting Dee Dee with loud remarks, again and again, but compared to the crisis workers, she was wonderful. They had seemed sceptical and reserved at best, their compassion ever so slightly patronising and practised. Donna was genuinely sympathetic, and didn't appear doubtful once, as if she heard stories like this every day.

Once Dee Dee got to the part where the other passengers had been about to cast out the Doctor, Donna stood up, furious, looking like she was ready to punch them in the face should she ever meet any of them. "I can't believe it! He was defenceless - how could they even think about doing that!"

"You have to understand, we were really scared, it was such a strange situation, and he wasn't really helping, because he was so vague with all his answers - wouldn't tell us his real name, couldn't tell us what made him different from everyone else. I tried to tell them not to do it, but... There's really no excuse. It was awful, and we were all ashamed afterwards. Luckily, they didn't succeed."

Dee Dee was just finishing her account, when Jules returned to his office. He took a quick look at the Doctor's readings, and tilted his head from side to side thoughtfully. "Still the same. Well, at least he's not worse. So," he turned to look at Donna. "I've heard the whole story now, but apparently, so have you?"

"Yeah. Quite a story it was, too," she said darkly.

"Unfortunately, it doesn't really explain anything, nor give us any idea how to help him."

Dee Dee shook her head ever so slightly at Jules, and cast a meaningful glance at the Doctor. She couldn't believe Jules could be so inconsiderate! They didn't know whether the Doctor could hear them or not. Talking about him like this, as if he wasn't in the room at all, wasn't exactly the nicest thing they could do, and letting him know they were at a loss really wouldn't make him feel better.

She cleared her voice, and said, "I'm sure we'll think of something."

Jules seemed to catch her drift. "Of course we will," he said quickly. "Or rather, I will. This really isn't your area of expertise, Dee, and you were onboard that unlucky truck as well. I already told you once that you should concentrate on your own well-being. When's the last time you ate?"

"I don't..." She frowned. She couldn't answer that off the top of her head, she had to actually think about it. "In the morning, before we left, I guess, but I'm really not hungry." She was telling him the truth, too. She wasn't, no matter how long had passed since breakfast.

"That's not surprising, considering everything that's happened. Still, you should eat. I'm prescribing you a single large dose of hot chocolate, to be taken with food, right now, at the nearest café," Jules told her in his most official voice. It was so pompous she couldn't help grinning a little. "You could join her, actually, Miss Noble. The Doctor's not going anywhere."

"Which means I'm not going anywhere, either," Donna said adamantly. "What if he wakes up? I want to be here. I need to be here!"

"And I need to run some more tests. This is still my office, he's my patient, and I have work to do." He walked over to the door, and held it open for them. "Please. Give me at least two hours."

Dee Dee couldn't read from his face whether he really wanted to run tests, or if he was just making up excuses to drive them away, so Dee Dee would go and have a bite to eat. Whichever the case, it worked. Looking very unhappy and complaining loudly, Donna led the way out of the room.

  
  


**4.**

_Donna and Dee Dee are leaving, leaving me with the young doctor again, who simply doesn't have the slightest clue what to do, and will probably just keep on running scans and tests endlessly, never understanding a thing - if only I could see the results myself - after all, I'm the only one who could interpret them, who would know what's normal and what's not, it might actually help me to understand this - then again, I wouldn't be able to tell the humans anything anyway, so even if I could figure this out, I'd still be every bit as stuck as before, with nowhere to go -_

_I'm at a dead end - dead, hm, there's an idea - not a nice one, but I must admit I'm getting desperate here - if I regenerated, that could be the way out, might be the only way out, the final option - the process is so powerful that it would most likely negate whatever the creature did to me - but that's not going to happen, since I'm nowhere near to dying yet, and my mind may be long gone before my body begins to fail - it's not like I can just decide to regenerate, someone would have to -_

_If Donna could - oh, I can't believe I'm even considering this! I couldn't ask that of her, ask her to do the unimaginable, even if it were the only way to save me - besides, I very concretely can't ask her anyway, so, once again, the point is moot - and I've never as much as mentioned regeneration to her, so she doesn't know, she'll never come up with the idea on her own, and the others here haven't even heard about Time Lords -_

_Think, think, think, there has to be something I can do, some kind of a solution, if only I could understand the exact nature of what that creature did to me, and how - if only I could concentrate and think properly instead of this frenzied rambling, but -_

  


* * *

  


Crystal Cupola Café was situated under one of the thick glass domes filtering the extonic sunlight, a lot like the pool room where Donna had spent most of her time here. The round tables were set around an equally round counter right in the middle of the area. At this time in the evening, there weren't that many people around, since most of them would either be having dinner or partying in the countless pubs and clubs.

"So, tell me about yourself," Donna asked Dee Dee, once they had sat down with their snacks and drinks. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea, after all. Maybe she really could use a break from the worrying, something to take her mind off the Doctor and the hopelessness of the situation for a moment. Clear her thoughts a little. She was sure it would be good for Dee Dee as well.

"There's not that much to tell, really. I'm from Ceren III," Dee Dee told her. "It's a small and uninteresting place, I'm sure you've never heard of it. And, well, I was always good at school and liked studying. I ended up applying for planetary archaeology, because I wanted to travel, and to do something a bit less common. Then, Professor Hobbes picked me as his assistant for the holidays, and, well, here I am. What about you?"

Donna wasn't quite sure what she should say. She never was, since the Doctor had never given her any exact guidelines. Sometimes it felt like to her that he complained about every other thing she said. Maybe it was better to be vague, for now. "Me, I was never any good at school. I've been working as a temp for the last few years, and I am good at that, if I do say so myself."

"Is that what you're doing now, then? Temping as the Doctor's assistant?"

Donna chortled and almost choked on her sandwich. "Me, working for him? Oh, dear, no. Long story short, I just sort of ran into him, and ended up travelling with him."

"So, are you two..."

"Mates. Friends, I mean. Just good friends," Donna said quickly. "How about you and Doctor Bordon, then?"

It was Dee Dee's turn to cough and splutter. "Me and Jules? Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Two young, pretty and smart people who are nice towards each other. It seemed kind of obvious."

Dee Dee shook her head, apparently at a loss for words. "So, um... How long have you been travelling with him?" she asked, changing the subject not too subtly. "What planets have you visited?"

"Well, it's kind of hard to keep count, we've been here and there, past and present," Donna said ambiguously.

"Past and present - you don't mean time travel?"

Donna hadn't thought she had been that obvious about it, but of course, Dee Dee had figured it out just like that. She really was quite bright. Probably a lot brighter than Donna was. "You've got it," Donna admitted.

"Oh, wow! There are so many theories, and all those stories going around, but I never thought I'd actually get to meet someone who's done that!"

"You ever heard of Time Lords?"

"No, who are they? Your people?"

"His people. I'm just a human, from good old Earth."

"Earth? Really? I can't believe it! What time period do you come from, then, if you don't mind me asking?"

To her amazement, Donna found herself telling half her life's story to Dee Dee, and hearing a lot about hers in return. They talked for quite a while. It felt nice, actually - Donna was no longer all alone in this alien time and place. She now had a friend, someone who just might understand her, not to mention someone who shared her concern about the Doctor.

"So, should we go back to the clinic, now?" Dee Dee asked, when they had finished their second mugs of hot chocolate, and the two hours Doctor Bordon had asked for had passed.

"I'm going back. You should go to your room and get some sleep," Donna said.

"But I -"

"Doctor Bordon said you need to concentrate on your own well-being, and I'll see to it that you will. You're welcome to join us again in the morning."

"And what're you going to do? Sit by his bedside all night?"

Donna shrugged. "I don't know."

Dee Dee locked her dark eyes with Donna's, a dead serious expression on her face. "Well, whatever you do, please, don't say that to him."

Donna thought about those words as she walked back to Doctor Bordon's office. She had already said something similar to the Doctor, and Dee Dee was right, she shouldn't have. If he was aware of what was going on, of course he would be desperate and scared out of his wits - or over-stressed and frantic, like Doctor Bordon had described his physical state. Donna definitely hadn't done anything to help him.

When Donna opened the door to the office, Doctor Bordon motioned at her to stay in the waiting room, and joined her there, closing the door behind him. "A word with you, in private," he explained. Apparently he had had thoughts similar to hers, and didn't want to talk about the Doctor where he might hear them.

"What about?" Donna asked, instantly worried. "He's not worse, is he?"

"No, nothing like that. It's just that I was wondering if you could tell me about, well, the basics for him. I mean, I really don't know anything about his species. What does he eat or drink, and how often? Does he sleep? How much?"

"I really don't know," Donna had to admit.

Bordon tilted his head back, with an exasperated sigh. "How can you not know?"

"Like I said, he doesn't really talk about such things. He does eat and drink, just like humans, but I don't know how much of that he really needs. As for sleeping, I've never seen him do that, but I'm pretty sure he does."

She had never really realised how little she knew about him. He could prattle on endlessly about some absurd adventure he'd had two hundred years ago, but in the end, it was always about things that had happened to him, rather than about him, period. She barely knew more about his people than that they were gone.

"I wish you could do better than just 'pretty sure'. The thing is, this case really is beyond me," Doctor Bordon said plainly. "I specialised in human medicine, so I've only done the compulsory courses in xenomedicine. I'm really not used to treating unknown aliens."

Donna rolled her eyes. "So much for you being perfectly qualified, then."

"I am qualified to diagnose and treat a hundred different species, his just isn't among them. Besides, whatever my qualifications, you can see this place isn't exactly a hospital. I'm only here to give first aid and to help with minor health concerns. All serious cases and those needing long-term treatment are quickly transported elsewhere. If this is a permanent condition, he's going to need supportive care that I'm not able to provide, so I really think we should -"

"No way it's permanent! I'm sure he can hang on a little longer. I think we'd better just sleep on this, and talk about the future in the morning, if there's still no change."

Bordon looked like he wanted to disagree, but shrugged. "All right. You're the only one who knows anything about him, which makes you the expert."

"Good," Donna said. "Now, I'm going to sit with him for a while."

"Keeping him company is probably a good idea. I'm going to sleep, myself, but I've set up the computers so that they'll wake me up instantly if there's any significant change. And feel free to call me, no matter the hour."

Doctor Bordon left, and Donna returned to the Doctor's side. She couldn't help grimacing at the panic-stricken expression etched on his face. His chest was still heaving, too.

"Don't worry, Doctor. We'll figure out something," she told him, in the most convincing tone she could manage. "You have my word on it. You'll see. It's going to be all right." She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze, and noted that the muscles felt taut as wire, trembling with constant tension. Boy, was he going to be sore if - no, not if, when! - when he came out of this.

Without really thinking about what she was doing, she placed both hands on his shoulders, and began massaging the cramped muscles. He actually shuddered under her touch, his breath hitching.

She pulled her hands back, wondering whether that had been a good sign or a bad one. Would he find her touching him an invasion of his privacy? After all, it wasn't like they were usually this intimate. Then again, she had actually got a response of some sort out of him, which was more than one could say about anything else anyone had done so far.

"Don't you start getting any funny ideas. It's just a massage, and only because you need one badly. Not going to make a habit of it," she told him, and continued kneading his shoulders, then his arms.

She thought she could actually feel him relax somewhat. It even seemed to her that the look on his face had changed slightly, from wide-eyed shock to a blank, emotionless stare. Even though it was an improvement of sorts, it was still hard to feel optimistic, when his usually so expressive face was completely devoid of any signs of life, let alone awareness.

She moved her uncomfortable, low-backed chair to the head of his bed, so that she could lean against the wall. It was almost midnight. Midnight on Midnight - she was sure he would have found that funny and made a pun out of it, had he been able to.

Donna really didn't feel like sleeping. Even though she was determined to reassure him that everything would be all right, the one thing she couldn't do was reassure herself. She wasn't one to give up easily, and she would keep on trying to help him as long as he was alive, but the truth was, she still had no idea what to do. She rested the back of her head against the wall, and closed her eyes, silent tears sliding down her cheeks.

  
  


**5.**

_Uh, Donna, what exactly are you up to?_

_Oh, massage, right, well, that might not be a bad idea, ah, yes, actually that's a very good idea, because I do feel like I've aged another hundred years with all these aches and pains that come from every fibre of my body straining against the hold that the creature has on my voice -_

_Oh! In fact, maybe it's an even better idea than she knows herself, maybe I really need to relax, because ever since that thing took my voice, I've been trying to fight its hold on me as hard as I can, struggling to move, to speak, afraid of what might happen if I let go, but maybe I shouldn't, because obviously, it's not here, it's not like this could get any worse - stop fighting, let go, relax, I'm safe, Donna's right there, her hands working on the knotted muscles of my shoulders -_

_It takes conscious effort, but eventually, I get there. I stop struggling, and nothing bad happens. Instead, I feel better - far less strain on my body, and my mind is clearer than it's been ever since the beginning of this ordeal._

_The truth is, I've been so busy fretting about the loss of my voice that I've been ignoring the fact that I've still got my mind. If there's one thing that's more important to me than my voice, even more powerful, it's my mind. I can still think, I can get on top of this, I can figure this out._

_Start from the beginning. What did the creature actually do to me? It stole my voice, my means to communicate, including body language and telepathy. In technical terms, it must've somehow assimilated that part of the bioelectric patterns of my brain and mapped it into its energy signature. The creature must be completely made out of energy to be able to survive out there. Without a body, it won't really have any use for my voice now, but I know it's still out there, and hopefully, my voice is still with it. Actually - no, could it be? Could it really be?_

_Now that I think about it, now that I can really concentrate - oh, yes! I can barely believe it, but it's still there! I can actually feel my voice, I can feel that part of me that was left behind. Not that it helps me much, because I can't get it back, I can't do anything about it, but at least I can feel it. There's a connection, stretched out for all those kilometres, like an invisibly thin thread of a spider's web._

_That's why it wanted them to cast me out. It wanted me dead, because as long as I'm alive, the connection will remain, and it'll never have my voice completely. And that means that there's still plenty of hope for me._

  


* * *

  


Dee Dee was angry at Jules for being so patronising, nagging at her as if she couldn't take care of herself. She and Jules - what Donna had said - oh, it was nonsense. There was nothing between them, and never would be. Jules was only friendly to her because they were from the same school, and he could understand what it was like to be an undervalued assistant. Dee Dee would leave this planet within a week, and she would never see him again, and he would never even think about her once she had gone.

Dee Dee was angry at Donna, too, for ordering her around like that, telling her to go to her room as if she were five years old. All the same, she had been a good girl when she was five, and she still was. She did as she'd been told, mostly because there wasn't anything else for her to do. She returned to her room. It felt as if she hadn't been there in days, even though the files open on the computer were ones she had been reading just this morning.

She brushed her teeth and went to bed. The moment she closed her eyes, she saw the open door, the white light streaming in, the profiles of the hostess and Mrs Silvestry standing out against the bright background. She turned to rest on her right side, curled up, and she saw the other passengers lifting the Doctor, carrying him towards the door. She rolled over on her back again, and stared at the ceiling, and thought about the Doctor's unseeing eyes, the look of horror on his face.

Time passed, minutes, maybe hours, and she found herself crying, all the tears that had been long coming during the day, tears for the dead crew of the truck, and for Mrs Silvestry, who had only been a frightened, lonely woman, who hadn't done anything to deserve such an awful fate.

She considered calling Jules to ask for sleeping pills, but no, she couldn't possibly do that, not at such odd hours. Finally, after who knew how many hours of rolling around restlessly, she drifted to a fitful, dreamless sleep.

When she woke up for what had to be the at least the fifth time and saw that it was seven o'clock, she decided that it was late enough for her to stop even trying to sleep.

She made her way through the mostly empty corridors of the slowly waking Pleasure Palace to the clinic. Not surprisingly, no one answered when she rang the doorbell. She opened the door just enough to peek inside. The Doctor looked the same as before. Donna was slumped in a chair at the end of his bed, apparently asleep, her hand resting on his shoulder. Of course she was still asleep, and of course Jules wasn't here yet - what had Dee Dee been thinking?

She closed the door as quietly as she could. Clearly, it wasn't quiet enough, because she had only just sat down in one of the waiting room chairs when Donna opened the door, blinking at Dee Dee, rubbing her eyes.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"Half past seven."

"Blimey." Donna yawned, and sat down next to Dee Dee. "I didn't mean to spend the whole night here. Oh, well. Did you get any sleep?"

"Some. Did he sleep?"

"Don't know. I'm not sure he ever does. But I think he's a little better. Calmer," Donna answered in clipped, sleepy sentences. "Thanks to you, actually. You reminded me that we shouldn't act like he's not around at all."

Dee Dee felt like her cheeks might've changed colour slightly. "Glad I could help."

Jules picked that exact moment to make his entrance. He stepped in from the corridor, smiling at the two women, clearly not surprised at all to find them there. "Good morning, ladies," he greeted them, and with a complacent smile, offered them a tray with two cups of coffee and two croissants.

At this point, Dee Dee was very glad most people didn't notice when she blushed, because her face felt all warm.

"Thank you, Monsieur," Donna said, took the tray, set it on her lap and went on to munch on a croissant.

Dee Dee quickly grabbed a coffee and brought the cup to her lips, to give herself an excuse for not saying anything. She was sure she'd just mumble something nonsensical if she tried.

"It was the least I could do," Jules said, and disappeared into his office.

"I'm sure he wouldn't have done that just for me," Donna noted once he was gone, smirking at Dee Dee.

"Oh, just leave it be," Dee Dee groaned. Jules was just being nice, he was always nice like that to all women, and it really didn't mean a thing.

They had just about finished their simple breakfast when Jules reappeared, and sat down on a chair opposite to theirs. It looked like he had left that smug smile in his office, because his expression was all sombre now.

"We've slept on it, and the more I think about it, the more convinced I am about what I said last night," Jules said, looking at Donna, referencing some earlier conversation Dee Dee hadn't heard. "I think it's time to make some decisions."

"There's been a change for the better, though, hasn't there?" Donna asked, sounding defensive.

"Yes, I'll give you that, his breathing and heart rates have slowed down considerably and he seems otherwise less stressed. I guess he really did rest during the night. Unfortunately, it doesn't change the big picture. He's still catatonic and needs to be hospitalised."

"No," Donna said, shaking her head vigourously. "No, we're not leaving this planet. Not yet. There's got to be something else we can do."

"Every possible form of therapy comes with significant risks since he's of an unknown species, and trying anything would be far safer in a proper, fully equipped hospital, with experienced xenomedicine experts present. And the thing is, ah, Miss Noble, I'm sorry to say this, but, well, officially, legally, you don't even have a say in the matter," Jules stammered. "Unless you can prove that you're his next of kin or that he's designated you as his health care proxy."

"Jules! I can't believe you're actually -" Dee Dee began, but Donna interrupted her.

"Of course I can do that," she declared, and stood up. "He should've had the document in his pocket. Do you have his coat and jacket somewhere around here?"

Jules nodded, and left the room once more, to return with the Doctor's clothes. Donna spent a while digging through the pockets, mumbling, "Come on, it's got to be somewhere in here," until finally, she declared a victorious "Oh, there you are!" and held out a paper in a leather wallet.

"Ah, this clears things up," Jules said, a relieved expression on his face. "All right, then. He's staying here, if you say so. Still, I must say I object. My medical opinion is that we should contact an ambulance ship immediately, there's always one less than ten minutes away."

"Objection duly noted," Donna said. "But we're not contacting anyone yet."

"What are we going to do, then?" Dee Dee asked. "Sit and wait some more?"

"Actually, no. All this talk about moving him has given me an idea. We're going on a trip. Doctor Bordon, we're going to need a wheelchair."

Around half an hour later, they were pushing the Doctor along the corridors towards some goal that Donna still hadn't named. "You'll see, you'll see," was the only answer Dee Dee got from her. Doctor Bordon had stayed behind, because regardless of this unusual case, he still had his clinic duty. Besides, Dee Dee wasn't sure Donna would've let him come along even if he had asked. She was rather surprised Donna had actually allowed her to come.

They seemed to be headed for the lower levels, which mostly contained staff living quarters, storerooms and such. Dee Dee was growing more and more puzzled as they walked. They had just stepped out of a lift to a plain concrete corridor, when Dee Dee's mobile rang. She stopped and looked at the screen. The clock showed half past eight. The caller was Professor Hobbes. Dee Dee sighed and stared at the phone, undecided.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Donna asked.

"I'm not sure I want to."

"Well, then, don't! It's not that difficult."

But she couldn't just ignore him, she was his assistant after all, and she wouldn't even be here if not for him - but he couldn't possibly expect her to come back to work so soon after everything that had happened! Besides, she wasn't sure she ever wanted to go back to work. Then again, she couldn't just hang up on him, it would be terribly rude, and angering him might be very bad for her career.

Dee Dee glanced at the Doctor, sitting in the wheelchair, stock-still like a dummy - it was eerie how he would stay exactly in the position they had put him in. Professor Hobbes had tried to cast him out, and had refused to even consider that Dee Dee might have been right when she had said the creature hadn't passed into the Doctor.

She pressed the "end call" button. There. Professor Hobbes could fetch his own coffee this morning. She felt slightly appalled at herself, and chilled, like she had just done a huge, irreversible choice. She hoped it had been the right one.

"Let's go," she said, motioning at the corridor ahead of them.

"So, who was that? Jules?" Donna asked, pushing the wheelchair ahead.

"Oh, no, it was the Professor. He's not going to be happy about that, but right now, I guess I don't really care," Dee Dee answered, probably sounding more rebellious than she felt.

"He had it coming, if you ask me," Donna said. "All right, I think this is it."

They had stopped in front of a double door, grey and perfectly unremarkable, labelled with nothing but a number sequence. Donna let go of the wheelchair and pushed at the doors. They were locked.

"I knew this would come in handy," she noted, and pointed a silvery tool of some sort, glowing with a blue light, at the code lock. A green light lit up, and there was a click as the doors were unlocked.

Donna peeked inside. "Yes, this is it," she told Dee Dee, smiling. "Come on."

She held the doors open so that Dee Dee could move the Doctor inside. It was a storeroom, with high shelves stacked with towels and bed linen, but at the back of it stood something that really didn't belong. A blue box, apparently made of wood. That was where they were headed.

"Police public call box," Dee Dee read from the side of the thing. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing, really, it's just a disguise. Not a very good one, either," Donna said. "This is the TARDIS. It's his ship."

"It's a bit small."

"True, it might not be as big as the Pleasure Palace - it's hard to be sure about that - there's no room service, either, and the pool isn't half as nice, but otherwise, it's not too bad."

Donna produced a key from her pocket, opened the door, and led the way inside.

The space they found themselves in was many, many times larger than the exterior of the box. "Of course, you said you travel in time," Dee Dee thought aloud. "It's not just a space ship, it's a time ship. I couldn't even imagine what it'd be like! This is incredible! I wonder how it works - where does the energy come from? You must need lots and lots of it!"

"Beats me. You'd have to ask him," Donna said ruefully, eyeing the Doctor. "And I really wish you could do that, because now that we're here, I'm not exactly sure what to do next."

  
  


**6.**

_Oh, this is annoying, sitting here, getting pushed around like an invalid, when there's really nothing physically wrong with me. Of course, it's not like they've got any choice, when I really can't move on my own. There are no words to describe how much I hate being stuck like this._

_I think I can guess where we're headed. Ah, yes, there she is. The TARDIS. Great thinking, Donna, once again, but unfortunately, it's not going to help._

_The TARDIS is very intelligent, but right now, there isn't much she can do. She can feel my presence, but she doesn't understand what's wrong with me any better than anyone else does, and I'm unable to tell her. The creature was very thorough in what it did to me. There are no loopholes. In some other circumstances, I might've been able to communicate through the TARDIS, one way or the other, but now, there's no such option._

_As much as I love the TARDIS and as soothing as it feels to be back inside these familiar walls, it's not where I need to be right now. Luckily, I don't think Donna will risk trying to fly on her own, not when there's no guarantee that going elsewhere would help. She doesn't know it, but leaving this time and place would only make things worse for me. No, we really need to stay here._

_I know where we need to go. I can only hope they'll figure it out on their own, because I have no way of letting them know. And I really hope they'll hurry up with it. I no longer feel like I'm running out of time, going mad or falling apart, but if things don't change, that will happen, sooner or later._

_This isn't a sustainable state for me, being completely dependent on others, unable to do a thing on my own - forget about talking and moving, I can't even do the most elementary things - I can go without food and water and sleep significantly longer than humans can, but not indefinitely - Doctor Bordon is right, if I remain in this condition much longer, I am going to need outside help to stay alive - not something I want to think about - no! - no, no, no, I can't stay like this - I'm trapped inside my own body, I have to get out - I need my voice back, I need to -_

_Oh, no, I'm starting to ramble again. Concentrate. I can't afford to lose it again. Stay calm. They're going to figure it out soon. Of course they are. It's perfectly logical. Donna is brilliant, and Dee Dee is smart. They'll understand. They've got to._

  


* * *

  


Donna wasn't sure what she'd been expecting, but she had thought at least something would happen when they returned to the TARDIS. She knew the ship was sentient, and the Doctor was somehow linked to it. She'd hoped that it could give them a clue about what to do - maybe even that coming here would somehow heal the Doctor. Instead, nothing happened. Nothing at all.

The thing was, deep down, Donna was still hoping that the Doctor would snap out of his state or at least find a way to communicate, to let everyone know if he was still there. She really needed to stop thinking like that, because clearly, that wasn't about to happen. She was on her own.

She ran her fingers over the complex controls of the TARDIS, visualising the Doctor's nimble hands doing the same, twisting this dial here, turning that lever there, hitting that knob with a mallet. Donna had had a few driving lessons, and she might be able to pilot the ship on her own, but they could end up just about anywhere, anytime, and that really wouldn't help. Besides, even if she could control the destination, where would they go? Back home? Martha Jones might be able to help - but it was such a long shot that she didn't think the risk was worth taking.

The TARDIS had a med bay - should they take the Doctor there? Or to his bedroom? Donna wasn't sure she could find her way to either of those.

"Donna!" Dee Dee suddenly exclaimed, startling Donna out of her thoughts.

Dee Dee had been walking a circle around the room, and had now returned to the bottom of the ramp again. She stood right next to the Doctor, squinting at his face.

Donna rushed over to them. "What?"

"Do you think he looks different?"

Donna looked closely at him. Dee Dee was right, there was a slight change. It was barely noticeable - Donna doubted anyone who didn't know the Doctor would've been able to see it - but it clearly wasn't for the better. His eyes had gone wide again, and his expression was more tense and anxious than before.

"He doesn't seem happy to be here," Donna said, disappointed. "Maybe it was a mistake to come."

"It could be just a coincidence. Besides, at least we did something."

"That's true, and I think we should do more. All this time, we've just been spreading our hands and moaning, reacting instead of acting, which is worse than useless, really. He needs us. Now, let's think," Donna said, and sat down on the ramp. "What do we actually know?"

"He's physically unharmed, but completely unresponsive, and we don't know whether he's conscious or not."

"I think he is," Donna said in a low voice, her eyes on him.

"So do I, but that's just a hunch. Jules says we can't know for sure. He also thinks this might be more of a psychological problem."

"Just forget about Jules, he doesn't know any more than we do. Let's assume this is something that medicine can't explain. What do you think is wrong with him?"

"This isn't my area of expertise, I'm just a -"

"You were there when this happened to him, so I'm asking you."

"Well, all right. What I saw was that the creature took the Doctor's voice, and I think that's all that happened."

"Let's start from there, then. If that's the case, what can we do?"

"Obviously, we need to get his voice back, if that's still possible," Dee Dee replied, slowly and thoughtfully.

"And how can we do that? Any ideas, anything at all?"

"I don't know. We - well, it's... If..." Dee Dee stuttered. "I can't believe I didn't even consider this earlier, really. Logically thinking, if the creature didn't die when it was cast out - if it's still out there, and it still has his voice... Then we'd have to..." She fell silent, like she didn't want to finish the sentence.

"We need to go out there and find it," Donna finished it for her.

The Doctor drew a sharp breath, loud in the silence that followed Donna's ominous words.

"Did he just... Did you hear that?" Dee Dee asked, leaning closer to him.

"I heard it," Donna answered. "But what did it mean?"

The Doctor's expression was exactly the same as before. Once again, something had happened, but Donna couldn't tell whether it had been good or bad. Was he relieved that they had come up with the correct solution, or horrified by the idea of going back where it had all begun - or maybe both?

"Doctor, can you hear us?" Dee Dee asked him. "Can you do that again, if you can understand what I'm saying?"

He just stared ahead, breathing steadily, if a little faster than normal.

Dee Dee shook her head. "Whatever it was, I guess it was involuntary. Maybe he's just reacting, too, because he can't do anything else. I still think he really can hear us."

"Me too. No way that was just a coincidence, the timing was too fitting."

"So, are we going to do it, then?" Dee Dee asked. "Go out there?"

"It's a better idea than doing nothing. I don't think you should come, though. It's going to be dangerous."

"I know, I was there, remember? I should come. I might understand it better than you. I -"

Dee Dee's mobile rang again. This time, she just glanced at the screen, frowned, pressed a button and put it away. "I'm coming with you, and I don't care what you say, let alone what Professor Hobbes says."

Donna couldn't help smiling a little at the young woman's passionate attitude. She wasn't sure why Dee Dee was acting like this - did she have a crush on the Doctor, or was this some kind of a reaction to what they'd been through on the Crusader 50? Whatever the reason, Donna knew she shouldn't let Dee Dee tag along. She also knew it would be hard to stop Dee Dee, if she really wanted to come.

"I'll think about it," Donna said.

"Besides, you need someone who knows how things work around here, and I've been here for a month. Getting out there is much easier said than done. It's not like we can just leave right away."

Donna nodded. "We'll need a truck and a driver. I heard all Crusader trips are cancelled until further notice, but they wouldn't have been any good, anyway, since we need to get to the exact spot where this happened. Do you know any drivers?"

"Not really. I mean, I only know people from the Crusader crews."

"What other trucks are there, then?"

"Well, there are the rescue vehicles, and some small maintenance cars, but neither of those take passengers."

Donna had barely registered that they needed a plan, when she'd already come up with one, just like that. Medical mysteries and strange voice-stealing creatures she didn't know anything about, but this was exactly the sort of task she excelled at.

"I don't think that'll be a problem," she said, and headed to the wardrobe to change.

She picked a dark grey pantsuit - it was amazing how it was possible to find clothes in the TARDIS that fit her exactly - and took some time to tie her hair in a tight bun. She needed to look as official and competent as possible. Once she was all set, she returned to the main room, took the psychic paper out of her pocket, and offered it to Dee Dee.

"Diana Nobel, Accident Investigation Board," Dee Dee read aloud.

"Well, what do you think?"

"Perfect. You'd fool me, even though I know you."

Donna smirked at her. "I said it wouldn't be a problem, remember? Now, just point me in the right direction, and I'll get us a ride."

"Do you know where the spaceport is? And the Crusader station? The garage isn't far from there, and the offices are adjacent to it."

"I think I'll find my way. You'd better stay behind, since there might be people there who could recognise you."

"What about the Doctor?" Dee Dee asked, glancing at his still form. "Should we just stay here?"

Donna hadn't really thought about that. She wasn't sure the Doctor wanted to be in the TARDIS at all. Besides, even though there was no reason to, she was worried that he might take a sudden turn for the worse.

"Maybe you -" she began.

Dee Dee's phone rang for the third time. She groaned, silenced it and shook her head. "Isn't he getting the message?"

"Maybe you should call him," Donna suggested. "It could be something important. And maybe you'd better take the Doctor back to the clinic while I arrange the trip. Just in case."

  
  


**7.**

_Yes, yes, yes, yes!_

_They've done it! Well done, Donna, well done, Dee Dee! Thank you!_

_I want to hug them both, but all they get is a loud intake of breath which they can't even interpret. If I could control even that, hold my breath at will, for example, I could use it to communicate, but no. Normally, my control over internal processes is far superior to that of humans, for example, but now, it's all down to involuntary responses, which are far too imprecise to be of any use. Luckily, it doesn't matter. They've figured it out. From here on, it's going to be easy. Donna is particularly brilliant with the practical side of things._

_Only... I didn't even consider it before, but now that they're talking about it - what they need to do, taking me out there, back to that creature - it really is dangerous. They could get hurt, they could get killed! Oh, dear, I've been so stuck pitying myself that I haven't even thought about the risks they need to take to help me!_

_Looking at the big picture, they're only giving me a ride, and that's all. Once we get there, I doubt there'll be anything they can do. It'll be all up to me. I need to be ready, I need to be prepared. I need to understand the creature. What is it? Why did it do what it did? What does it want? How can I negotiate with it? How can I beat it at its own game? I still don't know. I'd better figure it out, or these two brilliant women will be putting themselves in terrible danger for nothing. At least I've got plenty of time to think about it, since there's nothing else I can do before we're there._

  


* * *

  


They'd just stepped out of the Doctor's ship, about to go their separate ways, when Dee Dee noticed a catch in their plan that they hadn't considered at all.

"What're we going to tell Jules?" she asked Donna.

"The less he knows, the better."

"But we might need a doctor out there. If the Doctor gets his voice back, who knows whether he'll be all right? Not to mention that anything might happen if we meet the creature again," Dee Dee said, trying very hard not to think about how it had practically ripped apart the Crusader 50.

"The Doctor is a better doctor than he is," Donna said. "Besides, I doubt Jules would even agree to leave. He'd probably try and stop us if he found out what we're planning to do."

"He might," Dee Dee admitted, although she didn't really agree.

She thought about it as she walked back to the clinic, pushing the Doctor's wheelchair. Donna didn't trust Jules, didn't really even like him, but Dee Dee knew him better, and she knew he wasn't a bad person. On the contrary, he was very concerned about doing the right thing. Right now, his training and instinct as a doctor said that since he couldn't help the Doctor, he should hand the case over to someone more experienced. There was absolutely nothing wrong with that train of thought. Still, if only he accepted the fact that this might be something beyond modern medicine, something far more alien, maybe he would think differently.

"So, where did you go?" Jules asked her, once they had lifted the Doctor back on the bed, and Jules had ran yet another of his scans to make sure that nothing had changed.

"His ship," Dee Dee answered, seeing no reason not to tell the truth.

"He has a ship of his own? Wow," Jules said. Almost everyone arrived at the Pleasure Palace using the commercial space liners, since private space travel was ridiculously expensive.

"Yes, and not just any ship. It's incredible. And while we were there, we also talked about what to do next," Dee Dee began tentatively.

"I hope you came to the right conclusion. After all, there are only two options: stay here and wait, or send him to hospital, where they may actually be able to help him."

"That's where you're wrong. Those aren't the only options."

"What other options do you think there are? I'm not going to give him any drugs, and -"

"I'm not suggesting you should, either." Telling Jules the truth could cause them a lot of trouble, but Dee Dee decided to take the chance. He would understand. She'd make sure of that. "Do you trust me, Jules?"

"Hm? Of course I do. You're easily one of the most trustworthy people on this planet."

"All right," she said, trying to keep herself calm and collected, although it was rather difficult after hearing those words. "Then trust me on this. I was out there, and I saw what happened. What's wrong with the Doctor is, he needs his voice back from that creature, and the only way we can even hope to achieve that is to take him back where it happened. So, that's what we're going to do."

Jules reacted pretty much just like Dee Dee would've expected: he stared at her as if she had suddenly switched to a foreign language, and half-shouted, "What? Are you out of your mind?"

"Maybe. But we're still going to do it, whether you like it or not. And more than that, I'd like you to come with us."

"Dee Dee, honestly, even if I didn't find the idea completely insane, I still couldn't."

"You've got a backup person, haven't you? You can't always be on call."

"Of course, there's Ada from Rescue, but still, I -"

"If not for the Doctor, then for me," Dee Dee pleaded, going for her best damsel-in-distress impression. She had never been much good at this sort of thing. "Do you think I want to go out there again? The very idea scares me to death, but I really think it's the only way to help him."

"Well, I..."

"At least think about it, please?"

"All right, I'll..."

"Thank you, Jules!" Dee Dee exclaimed, and gave him a quick hug. "Donna's arranging us a ride as we speak. She'll come back here once she's done. In the meantime, I think I should go see Professor Hobbes, he's been trying to call me all morning, and I need to let him know what's going on," she explained quickly, and escaped the room before Jules had time to react at all.

She headed towards the Professor's room, feeling surreal. She could barely believe what she'd just done, and Jules... Even though he hadn't really agreed to do anything, he'd actually seemed a little self-conscious at her attention - the always confident and cool Jules - she never would've thought she could cause such a thing.

She stopped in front of the door, her disbelief and triumph giving way to rapidly rising dread. She'd have to face the Professor sooner or later. Better do it now. It wouldn't be fair not to let him know what she was about to do, because if something went wrong out there...

She steeled herself and knocked on the door.

The Professor opened the door, grumbled a "Yes?", saw Dee Dee, and grabbed her in a hug.

She just stood there, frozen on her spot, feeling very, very awkward.

He let go, looking slightly embarrassed. "Ah, sorry, I'm just so glad to see you're all right! I was really quite worried. You didn't answer your phone, and I walked over to your room, but you didn't open the door," he explained. "You are all right, aren't you?"

"Of course I am," Dee Dee answered, confused. "You weren't calling me to ask why I didn't show up for work, then?"

"Of course not! I called you to tell you not to come to work. Have I really been that horrible to you?"

"No, no, you've..."

"I have, haven't I? Well, anyway, what I actually wanted to talk about was, I've decided my work here is done. I'm going to take a few weeks off the research, visit my homeworld, and then I'm off to Xardinia. I know you need to return to your studies, but I was wondering if you'd like to do a little part-time telecommuting for me, editing articles, some data analysis and so on. I'd really appreciate it."

"I - I think I'd like that," Dee Dee said, not sure what to think. She'd spent all her time on Midnight wishing she had some real work to do, instead of just carrying the Professor's suitcase and bringing him coffee, and now he was actually offering her the chance to do that? She didn't think she could make the decision now, not with everything else that was going on. She needed to tell him about it. "But, um, Professor, there's one thing you should know. I'm going back out there. Today."

He stared at her, clearly shocked. "Whatever for?"

"Because it might help the Doctor."

"Bless you, Dee, you're a better person than I'll ever be, and far braver." He shook her hand solemnly. "I'm really, truly sorry for what happened to him, and I sincerely hope he'll get better. Take care. And let me know about that job offer, once you've been able to think about it properly."

Dee Dee nodded. "I will. Thank you, Professor."

She returned to the clinic again, and found Donna and Jules arguing - but not over whether they should take the Doctor outside or not. No, they were debating whether Jules should come with them. He was very persistent on the matter, too.

The day was turning out so absurd that Dee Dee wondered if she was actually still asleep.

"Well, all right," Donna finally relented. "If you accept that I'm in charge, and won't be going 'but my medical opinion is this and that' all the time."

"You have my word on that. So, what're we going to do once we get there?" Jules asked. "I mean, we'd better plan this a little before we just dash head-first into danger."

"Not a bad idea," Donna said, and raised her eyebrows at Dee Dee. "What do you think? You know more than we do."

Dee Dee shrugged. This was the most problematic part of the operation, and she didn't think they could really plan it, no matter how hard they tried. "We hope it comes to us, and see what happens. We try and talk to it."

"And if something goes wrong?" Jules said.

"You really are Mister Positive, aren't you?" Donna groaned.

"Well, if we do find the creature... It took over Mrs Silvestry's body to communicate with us. It might take over one of us," Dee Dee began, feeling chilled at the idea. She hadn't even thought about that. Still, she wasn't about to back away. She had made her decision, and she would stick to it. "It seemed relatively harmless when it was in her, all it did was repeat what we said, except for what it did to the Doctor. After it had taken his voice, it tried to turn us against each other. But if things are different from what happened on the Crusader 50, we can't know what to expect."

"One thing's for sure: we're not going to cast anyone out, no matter what," Donna declared. "We'll get the Doctor's voice back, and he'll think of something."

Less than an hour later, they boarded one of the rescue vehicles, not the same one that had taken Dee Dee home from the Crusader 50, but similar. The Doctor was in a wheelchair again, with Doctor Bordon pushing it. Donna introduced them to the crew, a man and a woman, neither of them familiar to Dee Dee.

"This is Tanya, our driver, and Rick, co-driver and mechanic. Tanya, Rick, you probably know Doctor Bordon already? Dee Dee and Doctor Smith here are eyewitnesses from the incident."

"Okay," grunted the driver, a burly woman, who seemed to be chewing gum. The co-driver, a man about half her size, with greasy straw-coloured hair in a ponytail, simply nodded. No questions asked, no trouble at all. It felt almost too easy.

Less than ten minutes after that, they drove out of the garage, into the emptiness, among the diamonds, beneath the deadly sun, where Dee Dee had sworn to herself she would never return.

  
  


**8.**

_Here we are, then, just like I wanted, outside the safe, thick walls of the Pleasure Palace, in the middle of the glimmering white wasteland. Just thinking about it sends shivers through my body. There's no denying it: I'm afraid, both for myself and for everyone else, afraid of all the things that could go wrong, of what would happen if I should fail -_

_This is an appalling gamble, really. I still can't claim to understand the creature. I simply don't know enough, and no amount of thinking will correct that. I'm missing facts. I need to learn more. I'll need to find a way to communicate with it, otherwise there won't be much I can do._

_We're moving towards it, and I can feel it, still far away, but getting closer with every second that passes. I can feel that terrible, bright coldness lurking in the sapphire shadows, waiting. I can sense my voice as well, that part of me which is now enmeshed in that creature's clutches, but still connected to me - which actually means that I'm also linked to the creature - hmm, maybe that's it! Maybe, if I concentrate really hard on that link, not struggling against it, but following it, reaching out with my mind, towards that presence, yes, maybe I can -_

_Oh!_

  


* * *

  


Even though the rescue vehicle moved on wheels, on solid ground, and the inside of it made Donna think about a troop transport of some sort, she couldn't bring herself to consider it a truck. Trucks were nice and safe. Here, the outside was so deadly that a small tear in the wall could vaporise them all. Being in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean might feel like this, that was the only fitting comparison she could come up with. Or maybe one of those rockets they'd used to send men to the moon in the 60's.

The drivers had shut themselves in the cockpit, keeping to themselves. Donna didn't mind that at all. The less questions they asked, the better. It seemed Tanya and Rick weren't the curious type, nor easily spooked. Most other drivers had shaken their heads and looked reluctant when Donna had expressed that she was on official business and needed a ride to the accident site, but Tanya had simply stood up and asked when they wanted to leave. She obviously didn't believe any of the stories going round about what had happened on the Crusader 50 - and she was probably right not to, considering that most of them were complete rubbish. Still, Donna felt slightly guilty for bringing them out here. She had lied to them, after all.

According to Tanya, the journey to the site would take one hour and forty-five minutes. A long time to spend stuck in this not-too-big space with Dee Dee and Doctor Bordon, who were stealing nervous glances at each other, like two teenagers, and the Doctor, who was in a wheelchair again, still as a statue. Donna couldn't be sure whether he looked slightly more scared than before, or if she was just imagining things, projecting her own feelings to him.

When the Crusader 50 had run into the creature, it had taken over one of the passengers, used them like a puppet - it hadn't taken that person's voice, only her body, and used that to get to the Doctor. Would that happen again? And if it would, which one of them would it choose? Would it somehow completely erase that person, irreversibly, or would it just push their mind aside? What would it feel like? And what could they do if that happened?

The Doctor would do something, that was her first thought. He'd come back. Once they found the creature, the Doctor would somehow take over from there and make things all right again. Then again, that was exactly the way Donna had been thinking before, and she had been wrong. She shouldn't expect him to fix everything, always. Maybe this time, he couldn't. It wouldn't do to be too dependent on him.

One hour, forty-five minutes. Way too much time to think about worst case scenarios. Donna was half afraid she'd start getting second thoughts, or if not her, then one of the others.

"So," she said, deciding that a little small talk would help them pass the time. "Have you two been out here often?"

"Plenty of times in the Crusader ships, with Professor Hobbes," Dee Dee answered. "After the first time, it got rather tedious."

"It's been quite a while since the last time I was here," Doctor Bordon said. "Over two months, I think. Back then, I had this work assignment, quite a dramatic one, too."

"What happened, then?" Donna asked, encouraging him to tell the story that he clearly wanted to.

"It was the Crusader 44. One of the passengers was pregnant. She wasn't due for another few weeks, but of course, when they were all the way out there by the Sapphire Waterfall, she went into labour. As you know, it's a four-hour trip from there to the Palace. So, they called me, and I hopped in one of these Rescue Vehicles, and we drove towards the Crusader, to meet them halfway. I got there in time to deliver the baby, a beautiful little girl, with sapphire-blue eyes, can you imagine that? They named her Julie Crystal - would've been Jules if it had been a boy."

Donna rolled her eyes at his bravado, but she didn't really mind. It worked to lighten the mood. Besides, he wasn't a bad storyteller. Far more coherent than the Doctor, that was for sure, although not nearly as lively.

They kept talking, Jules telling about the funniest and strangest cases he had had, and Dee Dee giving a simplified account of what Midnight was like and what made the planet so special. Donna even ventured to describe a few of her adventures with the Doctor.

The journey passed uneventfully. Since there weren't any windows, it was hard to guess how fast they were advancing. On the other hand, it was obvious that they were moving, since the truck was bouncing and swaying quite a bit.

They'd been going for around an hour, with less than an hour left, when without warning, the Doctor lurched forwards in his wheelchair. Donna got to him just in time to catch him before he toppled to the floor. He was completely limp in her arms, clearly different from before. She cupped his face and called his name, but his eyes were closed now, his face lax and lifeless.

"Come on, let's move him to a bed," Doctor Bordon said.

They lifted the Doctor on one of the two bunks at the end of the narrow room, and Doctor Bordon went to work. A few minutes later he turned towards Donna, and shook his head.

"I have no idea what's caused this, but he's clearly worse, vitals signs much weaker than before, and barely any brain activity to speak of. I wasn't entirely sure if he was conscious earlier, but now, I can say without doubt that he's not. Are you still absolutely sure bringing him out here was a good idea?" he asked, looking from Donna to Dee Dee. "Maybe we'd better turn back. If he deteriorates any further..." He shook his head again, his expression grim.

Donna stepped closer, and sat down by the Doctor's side. She had thought he'd looked dead earlier, but she'd been wrong. Now, he really did. She rested her hand on his chest. His breathing and heartbeats were so faint and slow she could barely feel them at all.

Was this her fault? Were they doing the right thing? If he died... But then again, she knew him. She might not know a thing about his biology, or understand his ancient and impossibly complicated mind, but she knew his spirit. She was sure he would rather die than spend the rest of his life unable to move or even to communicate and entirely dependent on others.

"No. We've come this far. We're going to see this through, whatever happens," she said.

Donna spent the rest of the journey by the Doctor's side, holding his cold, limp hand between hers. So much for small talk - no one had anything to say anymore.

Dee Dee simply sat and watched, clearly on the verge of panic or tears or both. She was probably blaming herself, because she was the one who had suggested coming out here. Donna knew she should tell Dee Dee it wasn't her fault, but she couldn't find it in herself to do it. Trying to reassure Dee Dee that everything would be all right would feel like lying.

Doctor Bordon kept going over the Doctor's readings, muttering to himself. "It might have nothing to do with the circumstances, might just be the long-term effects of the state he's been in - might even be low blood sugar or dehydration. I should've put him on a drip long ago... That wouldn't really count as administering drugs. There's plenty of medical supplies here, I could do it now. What do you think?" he asked Donna, raising his eyebrows.

"If you're absolutely certain it's safe," Donna said.

"I'll give him a dextrose solution, that's basically just sugar and water. Can't possibly harm him," Doctor Bordon reassured her.

It didn't take him long to locate what supplies he needed, stick a needle on the back of the Doctor's hand, and hang a bag of clear liquid by his bed. Not surprisingly, it didn't change anything. Of course, after that was done, Doctor Bordon started listing other possible things to try, once again, but Donna insisted that he shouldn't give the Doctor anything else. If they failed to find the creature and get his voice back, then she'd be prepared to consider other alternatives.

Eventually, they came to a halt. The truck ceased shuddering. It was eerily still and quiet.

The cockpit door opened, and Rick peeked out. "We've reached the coordinates," he informed the passengers. "What now?"

Donna stood up. "We need to take some readings," she lied quickly, pulled the sonic screwdriver out of her pocket, and pointed around with it. "It'll take some time, maybe an hour or so. You just ignore us and do whatever, play cards or something."

"All right," Rick said, appearing completely uninterested, until his gaze landed on the Doctor. "Hm, what happened to him?"

"He's just resting," Donna replied, somehow managing to keep her voice level. "Nothing you need to worry about."

"Okay." Rick returned to the cockpit, closing the door after him.

"That was a good question he asked," Doctor Bordon said once Rick was gone. "What now?"

"Now, we wait," Donna told him, and sat down next to the Doctor again.

  
  


**9.**

They had stopped. They were right where it had happened the last time.

Dee Dee thought it felt somewhat anticlimactic. She wasn't sure what she'd been expecting - that the creature would instantly appear and kill them all, or that the Doctor would just suddenly start speaking? Nevertheless, it was strange to know that they were in the exact same spot, out of their own free will, just sitting there, waiting.

And they waited. Ten minutes, fifteen, twenty, and still, nothing happened. Gradually, she began to feel less anxious about all the horrible things that might happen and more worried of the opposite scenario. If nothing happened, no matter how long they waited, it could mean a dozen things. Maybe this wasn't the right place after all, or the time was wrong, or the creature just wasn't interested in them anymore. There was always the worst case scenario as well. If it had died when they had cast it out, and taken the Doctor's voice with it, then there was nothing they could do to help him.

"How long are we going to wait?" Jules asked cautiously.

"As long as it takes," Donna answered him.

They had been waiting for thirty-seven minutes exactly, when there was a knock at the back exit, just next to where Jules was standing. He stared at the door and stepped closer to it. "Dear gods, it's true! There really is something living out there," he breathed.

"Jules, get away from there!" Dee Dee screamed, but it was already too late.

There was an ear-splitting bang, the truck rocked on its wheels, and all the lights went off.

  


* * *

  


It was just like in Dee Dee's description of what had happened. First the knocking, then the lights.

Even though Donna was scared out of her wits, she was strangely relieved, too, and hopeful. At least something was happening. Coming here hadn't been all for nothing, after all.

After only a few seconds of perfect darkness, the lights blinked on again, although dimmer than before, allowing Donna to see what had happened.

The back door of the vehicle was bent inwards, as if a huge fist had banged on it. In front of it stood Doctor Bordon, with his back turned towards the others.

The Doctor was sitting up on the bunk, his eyes open, facing Donna and Dee Dee. "You came back for me," he said.

Donna was so immensely glad to hear his voice again that she wanted to run to him and grab him in a hug, but she'd only taken one step, when Dee Dee grabbed her arm to stop her.

"No, don't," she said urgently. "That's not him."

"Of course it's me," the Doctor said, but now that Donna was on guard, she could easily see that his expression was still all wrong, wide-eyed and strained - and she could hear Doctor Bordon speak the words simultaneously.

The cockpit door opened behind them. Donna didn't even turn to look. She heard Tanya grumble, "What in the blazes is gong on? Something just sucked away our power. We're running on emergency batteries now."

"It's not safe here," Dee Dee told her. "Please, go back to the cockpit, lock the door, and keep it closed, no matter what."

"Now, just listen, girl -" Tanya began.

"No, you listen to her," Donna said, her eyes still on the two unmoving men at the back of the room. "And do as she says."

"I'm the driver of this -"

"And I'm in charge here. Now, do it!" she said, in her most commanding tone.

"Whatever," Tanya mumbled, and Donna could hear the door close with a click, as it was locked.

"There's no need for any of this," the Doctor and Doctor Bordon said, except that it was really the creature talking. "We should go back to the Palace and sort this out."

"I don't think so," Donna said firmly.

"Then, this is going to be much more difficult and uncomfortable for everyone," the creature said. Doctor Bordon turned around slowly. His expression was every bit as horrified as the Doctor's.

  


* * *

  


Something was different from the last time. When the creature had taken the Doctor's voice, Mrs Silvestry had appeared almost normal, moving, speaking, gesturing. Now, Jules - oh dear, poor Jules, taken over by it! - was almost as still as the Doctor. More than that, the Doctor wasn't repeating Jules, but they were talking in unison.

"Are you threatening us?" Donna asked, sounding perfectly calm.

"Oh, yes. I'll make it plain for you: if you don't do as I say, you will all die."

Dee Dee and Donna glanced at each other. They knew what the creature was capable of, so that wasn't just an empty threat.

"I will -" Jules and the Doctor said, but fell silent mid-sentence.

"Don't listen to it," the Doctor said slowly, as if with huge effort, his face all scrunched up. Jules said it, too, but he clearly spoke a few seconds later. He was repeating the Doctor, now!

"That was him," Dee Dee whispered to Donna. "That was really him. Had to be."

"Donna, Dee Dee," the Doctor went on. "Listen carefully. I can't hold on much longer. All we need is hope."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Donna asked, sounding almost angry with him. "Is it a riddle? A secret message? An acronym - h, o, p, e?"

"Just -" the Doctor began, but that was as far as he got. He let out a pained cry, and his face was frozen in a grimace again.

"Hope? There is no hope, for any of you," Jules declared, and this time, the Doctor was the one repeating the words.

  


* * *

  


Blasted Doctor! He knew that Donna was no good at guessing games, couldn't he have been a bit more straightforward? "All we need is hope - that sounds like a song lyric, but it's not from any song I know. What could he possibly mean by it?"

"He also said 'just', so maybe... Maybe it meant just what he said, and that's all," Dee Dee suggested.

"What, that simply hoping is going to bring him back and drive it away?"

"Oh, don't be thick, Donna," the creature said - it was unnerving how much it sounded like something the Doctor might say, even though Doctor Bordon spoke first.

"I'm far from thick," Donna told the creature. "Obviously, we're on to something, because you don't like it." She took a few steps towards the two men. "And I've got plenty of hope. I've never stopped believing we can solve this, somehow, and I never will."

Dee Dee followed her lead. "We would never have come back here if we didn't have hope."

"It wasn't hope, it was your last resort, an act of desperation," the creature said.

Even though there might've been a grain of truth in that, Donna shook her head, and concentrated on hope. There was plenty of it. The Doctor was here, and his voice would be all his again. He would be back to normal.

She stepped even closer. "I don't know what you are, where you come from, or what you want, and I don't really care." She placed her hand on the Doctor's shoulder. "He's a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, and if you don't let him go, you're going to regret it."

Doctor Bordon approached her, a clearly threatening look on his face. "Time Lord? They are tiny and weak compared to me. You're the one who will regret," he said, and the Doctor repeated.

"I'm not afraid of you," Donna said, looking Bordon in the eye, meeting that alien glare without flinching, because the truth was, now that she really thought about it, she really wasn't all that scared. "I've seen much, much worse things than you. The Empress of the Racnoss, the Sontarans, the Vashta Nerada - I'm not afraid of some pathetic thing that has to steal the bodies and voices of others to be able to talk. Go away, leave us alone!"

  


* * *

  


"I'll rip this truck apart!" the creature declared, the two men speaking in unison this time.

"But you won't," Dee Dee said, approaching them too, doing her best to sound as confident as Donna did. "I think I've figured you out. You could've just torn the Crusader 50 to pieces, too, but you didn't. What you really want is, you want a body, and a voice, and you want to get to the Palace, among the people, and who knows what you'll do then. We're never going to take you there. Threatening to kill us won't help, and killing us will help you even less."

"You will die, all of you, you'll burn in the Midnight sun!"

"Maybe," Donna answered calmly. "But we hope we won't."

"There's nothing for you here. You've lost. Go away," the Doctor said, through clenched teeth, and it was just him. Jules didn't say a word.

Both men screamed, an inhuman sound, full of anger and fear and despair. The lights were flashing, blinking from overly bright to complete darkness, and the truck shook again, worse than before, as if it was coming apart, metal creaking and sparks flying. Dee Dee grabbed Donna's hand, and Donna moved closer to her, putting her arm around Dee Dee's shoulders. They clung to each other as much for solace as for balance.

Even though Dee Dee was terrified, she tried to hold on to hope, like the Doctor had asked. They might all die, but they might not, they might survive, all of them. Jules would be free, and the Doctor would be all right again.

Slowly, the chaos died away, the screaming faded into heavy breathing, the truck stilled again, and the lights were burning as brightly as they had before the creature had appeared.

  


* * *

  


Donna let go of Dee Dee, trying to catch her breath and to force her legs to stop shaking.

She looked around. Doctor Bordon was sitting on the floor in a corner, his knees pulled up, his forehead resting against them. As for the Doctor, he hadn't moved an inch. He still sat on the bunk, looking exhausted above all else, his mouth hanging open and his eyelids drooping. It was an expression almost as out of place on his face as the earlier blank stare. As Donna watched, he tilted sideways, slowly, until he was lying on his side.

Donna sat down on the bunk, right next to where his head rested, and put her hand on his arm. "Doctor?" she asked hesitantly.

The Doctor turned his head and craned his neck so he could see her. He blinked and quirked one eyebrow, as if only now registering she was there. "Donna?" he rasped, in a voice barely louder than a whisper.

"I'm right here." She gave his arm a squeeze.

He turned around so he was facing her, his weight resting on one elbow. "Oh, Donna, I -" he began, still sounding choked, his face so full of emotion that it was nearly unreadable - grief, guilt, relief, weariness, she couldn't tell. He licked his lips and opened his mouth as if to go on, but closed it again and shook his head.

She placed her hand on his back. "It's all right," she told him softly. "You're safe now."

He let out a long, shuddering breath, and shifted so he could wrap his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder. He was shaking all over, breathing in huge gasps. Donna wasn't sure, but she thought he was sobbing, and the very idea made her feel chilled. Despite all the horrible things they'd been through before Midnight, she'd never seen him cry.

  
  


**10.**

All through the encounter, all Donna's attention had clearly been on the Doctor, as if Jules wasn't even there. That had made Dee Dee all the more worried about him. Jules was out here only because Dee Dee had asked him to come, and she had only been thinking about the Doctor. She couldn't believe she'd been so heedless. The thought that losing Jules might be the price they had to pay to get the Doctor's voice back was just unthinkable. It wasn't worth that.

Once the worst was over, Donna naturally went to the Doctor, but Dee Dee only had eyes for Jules. She walked to him and knelt in front of him.

"Jules?"

He lifted his face from his knees. "Is it really gone?" he asked, looking around, his eyes wide and wild, as if the creature might be lurking in the shadows or under the benches.

"Yes, it's gone," she said firmly. "It's over."

"It's o-" Jules began to repeat, and then seemed to realise what he was doing, and closed his mouth. He held out his hand and touched her cheek. "I missed you, Dee Dee."

"But I was here all the time," she said, baffled by both the gesture and his words.

"I wasn't. It was so cold and lonely..." Jules shook his head, looking more miserable than she'd ever seen him before.

She grabbed him in a hug, and he uncurled and leaned into it. It felt very strange - it wasn't like Dee Dee had never thought about hugging him, but definitely not like this.

All of a sudden, Jules started and sat bolt upright, slipping from her grip. "We're not moving," he said urgently. "We're still there, aren't we? It could come back!"

"It won't," she said soothingly. "You're right, though, we should return home."

She led him to the bunk that was still empty, covered his shoulders with a blanket, and walked to the cockpit door. She knocked, and instantly, Tanya opened the door, looking nothing short of furious.

"About bloody time someone told us something! What the hell is going on?"

"We... We had a bit of a... situation," Dee Dee stuttered. "It's all over now."

"We've got what we came for," Donna added from where she was sitting, still hugging the Doctor. "We should head back to base now."

"Right. You're not really from the Accident Investigation Board, are you?" Tanya asked, eyeing them suspiciously for the first time

"No, we're not," Dee Dee admitted. "But we've just saved a man's life, and you helped, because we couldn't have done it if you hadn't brought us here. Thank you."

"You're welcome, long as someone's paying for the fuel."

"We'll see to that. Now, are the engines working? Can we get home on our own?"

"Yeah, sure. Took some damage, but she's a tough truck. We'll make it, no problem."

The driver withdrew to the cockpit again. Soon, Dee Dee could feel the familiar rumble of the engines and the swaying of the vehicle as it picked up speed.

She returned to Jules and sat down next to him, keeping her eyes off the Doctor and Donna. As anxious as she was to hear how he was doing, their reunion seemed very intimate, and she didn't want to intrude.

"Are you all right?" she asked Jules.

"Physically unharmed," he answered her, with the ghost of a grin on his lips. "But I think I'm going to need a sick leave, anyway. Maybe you'd like to keep me company?"

"I'd like that, yes," Dee Dee answered him, moved closer, and put her arm around his shoulders.

  


* * *

  


Donna held the Doctor for several minutes, stroking his hair, rubbing his back, telling him over and over again that it was all right. Gradually, his shivering faded away, and his almost uncomfortably tight grip around her loosened.

He let go of her altogether, and leaned back to lock his eyes with hers. He still looked exhausted, and more than that, he looked his age, the centuries of his long life clearly visible in the depths of his brown eyes and the minute wrinkles around them.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor said.

"No need for that, silly. I've hugged much worse things than you," she told him, smiling.

He didn't return the smile, but still held her gaze, his expression dead serious. "Wasn't talking about that. I was scared, Donna. I almost couldn't do it. I could've got you all killed." He glanced at Dee Dee and Doctor Bordon, who were sitting opposite them, very close to each other.

"We took the risk willingly," Dee Dee said.

"I thought I could do it on my own," the Doctor went on, as if he hadn't heard her. "I was wrong. If it wasn't for the two of you, I never would've made it. Donna, Dee Dee, you were amazing, you truly were."

"Well, of course we were!" Donna proclaimed. "What did you expect?"

"From you, nothing less," he said, one corner of his mouth actually curling up. "From them, well, let's just say it was nice to be pleasantly surprised, for a change."

"Are you insulting us?" Doctor Bordon asked incredulously.

"No, he's thanking us," Dee Dee told him.

"For restoring my faith in humanity. I'm the Doctor, by the way. Not that you don't know that already, but I don't think we've been introduced properly," he told Doctor Bordon.

"Doctor Jules Bordon, your attending, Doctor," Bordon said with a slight grin, sizing him up. "So, are you feeling all right, now?"

"Actually, now that you ask, I'm parched, and starving," the Doctor answered. He lifted his hand in front of his face, eyeing the IV needle curiously. "This isn't helping much." His face took up a concentrated, introspective frown. "Not nearly enough sugar, and could use a touch of ginger."

"You're not serious!" Bordon exclaimed.

"Sure I am! Almost everything tastes better with a little ginger. I could also use a hot bath, and a long nap," he catalogued, sounding so close to normal that Donna found herself smiling. "Other than that, I'm all right."

"Let me check, just to be sure?"

"You think your computers know better than I do?" the Doctor asked, his tone genuinely surprised, not the least bit sarcastic.

"They may be a little more accurate," Bordon answered, stood up and walked over to the computer screen at the end of the Doctor's bed. He picked up a hand-held scanner and raised his eyebrows at the Doctor. "If you don't mind me taking a look?"

"Not at all, go ahead."

Doctor Bordon pointed the device at him, and peered at the monitor. "Everything looks fine to me," he declared. Donna was glad to hear that from him, knowing the Doctor's tendency to use the words "all right" in all sorts of weird ways.

"Hold on a second," Bordon said, looking from the screen to the Doctor and to the screen again. "If that's normal brain activity... Dear gods, you really were conscious all the time, weren't you?"

The Doctor simply nodded, his lips pursed.

"Then, there was that time when we were driving towards the accident site, and you suddenly fell into a coma, or something similar - gave us quite a scare, too - what happened?"

"Oh, that. All my fault, mostly. Slight miscalculation," the Doctor replied tersely, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. "I reached out towards my voice, and got my mind stuck, all tangled with the creature. Wasn't too happy about it myself. Although, if I hadn't done it, I might never have learned enough about it to be able to defeat it. Anyway, does anyone here have anything to eat? I really am starving. Quite literally."

"It's a rescue vehicle, I'm sure there are emergency rations," Dee Dee said.

Donna began rummaging the drawers under the benches, where Doctor Bordon had found the medical supplies. She was in luck: in the third compartment she looked in, she found instant meals packed in tin foil, bottles of water, which she passed to the others, and finally, at the bottom of it, a box that was filled with what were unmistakably chocolate bars.

The Doctor had already gulped down a whole bottle of water, when Donna stopped in front of him and placed her finding on his lap.

"Oh, just what I need! Lots of sugar, with flavonoids and theobromine and other useful things - and if I'm very lucky, maybe even some ginger. Donna Noble, I don't know how I ever survived without you," he said, and they both knew he wasn't joking.

For several minutes, the only sound in the room was that of eager munching of chocolate bars.

Dee Dee broke the silence, clearing her throat. "Doctor, what was it?" she asked cautiously. "That creature, I mean. What exactly happened?"

The Doctor let the latest empty wrapper flutter to the floor, and crossed his arms tightly, as if the room had suddenly grown cold. "Despair. That's what it was. Complete, pure, utter despair."

"So, that's why we needed hope?" Dee Dee said.

"That's ridiculous," Donna declared. "Despair stole your voice? We fought a feeling?"

"Not exactly, but it's a very long story."

"We're still over an hour away from the Pleasure Palace. Plenty of time for you to tell it," Doctor Bordon said.

So, the Doctor began telling his story, and Donna leaned back, feeling immensely glad just to listen to him speak, paint every detail in words, with quickly changing tones, accompanied by lively expressions - how she had missed that voice!

  
  


**11.**

_I've had people tell me that I talk to hear my own voice. Right now, I'll happily admit that's exactly what I'm doing. Now that I've finally managed to pull myself together, somewhat, all thanks to Donna, I could talk and talk and talk and never grow tired of it! Such a joy, to be able to express things - and to be free again!_

_I need restraint not to blurt out every thought in my head and to explain everything I feel and see around me. Not that there would be anything wrong with that, but I've got a story to tell, as much as I hate going back to those events in my thoughts - it brings back that feeling where I'm drowning in a bottomless pit of cold white light, where I - oh, stay in the here and now! These people deserve to hear it all. They need to know, so they can truly appreciate what they did._

_"Once upon a time," I begin, but that's not right. "No, wait, not once, some specific time, but all the time, everywhere in time. Well. Once, there used to be these beings who saw even Time Lords as tightly tied to the passage of time. They were different, living beyond time, almost incomprehensible to most of us. They called themselves Eternals. But then, something happened, something that shook the very fabric of time and space, something so horrible -"_

_Oh, isn't this a cheerful story? I'm shivering again. A strange effect, that: a completely unrelated case throwing me off the track and back to that place which is so bright it's dark._

_Donna's looking at me worriedly, her hand on my shoulder. "You don't need to do this now, Doctor."_

_"I do," I tell her. "So. There was the Time War." Move on, don't dwell on it. "And the Eternals went away, all of them, or so everyone thought. Now, some of these Eternals played the parts of, well, concepts, ideas, a little like gods - there was Death, and Time, for example, both of whom I met a few times. The Eternals weren't exactly a peaceful or nice people. They were so old and so far removed from the physical world that they needed mortals to be able to really feel, to be creative, to come up with new thoughts, and they didn't hesitate to abuse them. They also fought amongst themselves, which brings us to what happened here today. Apparently, there was an Eternal who rubbed the others the wrong way, one known as Despair."_

_"I'm still not sure if this makes any sense," Donna remarks._

_"Shush," Dee Dee says. "You said all of them went away?"_

_"Yes. But long before that happened, some of them pulled a nasty trick on Despair. They trapped it, tied it to Midnight - an ideal place with its unusual extonic environment - so it would have to stay here until the end of the planet. Not a very long time if you're literally eternal, except that once it was linked to this place, it also became linked to time, like us Ephemerals, a fate unimaginably horrible to one like it. It sat here and waited, stuck without any new ideas or thoughts, seconds and minutes and days trudging by so very slowly and linearly, and inevitably, it became mad."_

_"A timeless creature who's a personification of despair, and crazy on top of that," Jules summarises, looking appalled. I can see it in his eyes: he remembers that freezing brightness, too._

_"Yup. And then we showed up, a truckload of mortals, something it had been waiting for, for who knows how many millions of years, and it did what it could to live through us. If it hadn't been mad, things would've been very different, because now, it couldn't really remember what to do, and wasn't half as powerful as Eternals normally were. It was exploring both us and its own abilities."_

_"So, it wanted to be taken to the Palace, so it would have more minds to toy with?" Dee Dee asks._

_"Yes. And it wanted me dead, because as long as I lived, I was still linked to my voice, and there was the risk that I might be able to do something about that."_

_"And you were," Donna says warmly._

_"It was a close thing. Very, very close. Far too close. It really was Despair. That mental struggle, trying to push it away, out of my head, to force it to let go of my voice... All the time, it was telling me that there's no hope, that there's no point in even trying, that we're all going to die," I explain, concentrating really hard on keeping my mind clear of the cold dread that's once again threatening to rear its ugly head. "But since my mind was merged with Despair's, it could see everything I have already done, and what happened to other Eternals, and I had you for support, and so, finally, we were able to drive it away. Together."_

_"But it's still out there? Still waiting?" Jules asks, glancing around nervously as if expecting it to emerge from some dark corner._

_"It is, but it's tied to that particular place. Otherwise, it would've come to the Palace a long time ago."_

_"So, we just need to tell everyone to avoid driving that way again?" Dee Dee asks, her hand clasping Jules's._

_"Well, that might work - but I really think you'd better tell everyone that this planet isn't safe. Better build your Pleasure Palace somewhere else."_

_"Isn't there some way to get rid of it for good?" Jules suggests, still looking uneasy._

_I shrug. "For you, no, not really. For me, maybe."_

_I might be able to do something about it, although the hostile environment of the planet makes it extremely difficult - and right now, facing Despair again isn't something I'm going to consider. I could return later. Possibly without Donna, because it's going to be risky._

_"Anyway," I go on, "If anyone should run into it again, as we saw, all one needs to keep it at bay is hope. It went for Mrs Silvestry, because she was already desperate."_

_"That's it? Just hope? As simple as that?" Jules asks, making me realise what I've just implied: the Eternal went for him as well, and what that tells about his thoughts and feelings, well, it doesn't exactly make him appear brave._

_"There's nothing simple about hope," I state. "It's not easy to hold on to it when everything is going wrong. And it's a powerful thing, too, powerful enough to make impossible things possible."_

_I'm not going to blame Jules. I almost lost hope myself during this ordeal, several times. Still, as unlikely as it might have seemed a few hours ago, eventually, we reach the Pleasure Palace, all of us shaken to the core, but otherwise all right. Well, relatively all right, I have to add, when I try to stand up, and my knees fold under my weight, so I just land on the bunk again._

_"We've got a wheelchair..." Jules begins._

_"No way!" I tell him. Not anymore, not if there's any other choice. Donna offers me her arm, and I try again, slowly. I feel like I've been trampled by a platoon of Judoon, bruised and aching all over, every muscle protesting. I don't think I've ever been this tired and sore in this body._

_I'd like nothing more than to go straight to the TARDIS and leave Midnight behind for good, but Donna disagrees. "You're in no shape to fly, you'd probably take us into a black hole or something."_

_She might have a point, too. She leads me to my room, and tells me to change into swimming trunks, in a tone I'd be afraid to defy even if I wasn't far too tired to argue._

_I've sometimes marvelled at how humans can spend hours and hours just loitering in warm water, doing nothing, but right now, soaking in a jacuzzi feels so wonderful that I could stay there for the next decade or so. When I'm starting to nod off into the bubbling water, Donna decides that's enough, and takes me back to my room._

_"A hot bath and a long nap, that's what you prescribed yourself, Doctor, and I'm making sure you follow those orders."_

_"Thank you," I tell her, and sit down on the bed. "And good night, then."_

_She leaves, and I try to go to sleep, but the moment I'm lying down on the bed, I don't feel like sleeping anymore. Yes, I'm tired, incredibly so, didn't even know I could get this tired, but the things in my mind - the memory of being trapped in my own body, lying on my back, facing the ceiling, unable to turn my gaze - and the coldness and the bright white light and the despair... I'm afraid to close my eyes._

_I realise I'm shivering once again. There are extra blankets in the closet, and I bury myself in a mound of them, but no amount of physical warmth will do away with this unnatural chill._

_The soft knock at the door startles me so badly I almost fall off the bed._

_It's Donna, of course. She lets herself in, standing in the doorway in her dressing gown, an odd look on her face - is it embarrassment?_

_"Sorry," she says. "I couldn't sleep. I was too worried."_

_"Well, I wasn't sleeping, either," I admit, and it comes through sounding every bit as miserable as I feel._

_A rather awkward silence follows._

_"Soo..." I begin._

_"I could stay, if you don't mind," Donna says._

_"It's a big bed. I might snore, though."_

_"I might slap you if you do."_

_She settles on the bed next to me, and I curl up beneath the covers again. The cold brightness suddenly feels much farther away. Before I know it, I'm fast asleep._

_The following day, after what may be the biggest breakfast I've had in this body, we finally head to the TARDIS. Dee Dee and Jules are there, waiting for us. Donna must've called them._

_"We told the authorities most of what you told us about Despair. I'm not sure how much of it they actually believed, but at least that area is now definitely off-limits to travel," Dee Dee tells us._

_"What're you two up to, now, then?" Donna asks them. "Where do you go on holidays from a holiday resort?"_

_Dee Dee smirks. "School, actually."_

_"I'm applying for specialisation studies in xenomedicine," Jules explains, smiling as well. "So, the next time something like this happens, I might be more qualified. And it's the same university where she's studying."_

_"Good for you," I tell them. I was worried how they'd handle this whole experience, seeing as it wasn't exactly easy on any of us, but it seems to me they're going to get over it just fine._

_"Where are you going next?" Jules asks._

_"Don't really know yet," I answer truthfully._

_"Someplace safe would be nice. Like, a planet where you can walk outside without getting vaporised, with lots of friendly people," Donna says. "And maybe some nice shops. A city break, you know."_

_I open the TARDIS door for her. "I think I know just the place!"_

_Jules shakes our hands, and Dee Dee gives us both a hug._

_"Will we ever see the two of you again?" she asks._

_"You never know. Maybe," I say, although I seriously doubt it._

_I guess my scepticism shows, too, because Dee Dee answers, "I'll hope we will, then."_


End file.
